Some years ago, I started jogging.
For the first several months, I jogged on a regular basis and I was proud of myself becoming such a diligent and contestant person. But soon, my rather lazy nature overpowered my newly acquired virtue and finally I stopped jogging.
Why couldn’t I keep going on jogging? Is it just because I’m lazy?
I’ve found the reason when I read Haruki Murakami’s essay “走ることについて語るときに僕の語ること” or “What I talk about when I talk about running.”
The book is like his autobiography and he talks very honestly about himself and running. I was impressed to know what Murakami has been holding inside.
Murakami said this;
“When it comes to sports, playing in a team is not for me, neither is one-on-one game such as tennis. Instead, I’m interested in whether clearing the criteria that I set for myself rather than competing with each other. In that sense, long-distance running just fits in my mentality.
Writing novels is similar to long-distance running. The important thing for me is to overstep myself yesterday as much as possible because the only opponent I have to beat is myself.
I might have ended up seeking for becoming isolated. After all, it’s a two-edged thing. It would protect my inner security but hurt me at the same time. Therefore, I’m running continuously to cancel them out.”
I see how strongly Murakami is determined to push through what he has decided to do at any cost. I’m way too far away from that kind of motivation that requires me to run.